Reiki (a poem)

Here is a poem I wrote on August 9, 2018, one year and three months after I quit drinking for good.

Reiki

They said it was like

knots unraveling

as she yanked them out of my stomach

I picture black sheets tied together

wet from gastric juices

unraveling but still knotty

wet

grimy

as they release and come apart

I tie up every thought I don’t want

every feeling

and push it down

deep into my abdomen

where I’ll revisit it

the next time the wound is ripped open

I used to see you everywhere,

I am so much clearer now.

The clones have vanished,

the nightmares have morphed into gray,

it’s just you in a bar,

you on the edges of the screen,

just out of sight.

No one would notice

if I weren’t looking.